One of my favorite baby shirts...

"Breastmilk....100% organic" 

"No artificial flavors, color, or preservatives..." 

and the best, 

"satisfied customers worldwide." 

Our little girl with chicken pox has just learned to sew, and she is thrilled about it! 

 (Even if it is "just for old ladies" in her words. :)

Child centered Sweden

Yet another article about all the pros and cons of having a child centered culture here in Sweden.

http://www.thelocal.se/20131028/51040

I find that kids who have boundaries and healthy discipline tend to be much more content and mature than kids who can run free and call all the shots.

Parents, we can do better than this article suggests!

Last week I shared an elevator with a lady (probably the grandma) and two kids.  She suggested they go one place, and they both called her dumb, a burden to have with them, and kind of a waste of time. And she just weakly smiled at me. If you raise your kids with no boundaries, will that really turn them into respectful caring people?


Time will show....

This keeps coming up so...

The heated question in Sweden...are government daycares really the best way, and should they be for all kids?, is something that keeps coming to my mind. Here's my latest discussion based on an article I just read on the topic.

http://amerisvenska.blogspot.se/2013/11/no-forskola-is-better-than-parents-time.html

No förskola is better than parents time and love for a kid...

Sweden has pressure on all parents to get their kids into the "system."  Put them into government child care as soon as possible, dont you know that everyone needs to do their part for this economy to run well?

Once again, here comes an article about how untrue it is...dagis is never a equivalent subsitute for parents time and love.

"Parents think, Its boring at home for my kids......but to peel carrots and be at home with your kid can be the best thing you do for your child."



Heres the latest article.  Well worth the read (in Swedish).
http://op.se/nyheter/2.6785/lordag/1.5773152--kvalitetstid-ar-mitt-varsta-ord-?fb_action_ids=10201389666438499&fb_action_types=og.recommends&fb_source=other_multiline&action_object_map=%7B%2210201389666438499%22%3A436440569781001%7D&action_type_map=%7B%2210201389666438499%22%3A%22og.recommends%22%7D&action_ref_map=%5B%5D

Heres an older blog I wrote on the same topic.
http://amerisvenska.blogspot.se/2013/02/is-it-really-better-this-way-day-care.html

Plane thoughts

Lydia is at an age (finally) where she can be pretty happy on an 8 hour trip as long as the cartoons are freely flowing.  Markus has proven that he is such a happy kid in general, and makes our life easier in that aspect. 

 One personal reminder: just because a kid is tired does not justify them screaming and being disobedient. (Well, unless they are still a baby). Interesting, but having a high expectation works wonders.  Slightly annoying toys help, and of course some good snacks.  Here’s Daniel with two sleeping kids crashed on him. 

Day care vs. stay at home moms

Over at my sister blog, "an American's view of life in Sweden," I have plenty to say about the swedish day care system.

http://amerisvenska.blogspot.se/2013/02/is-it-really-better-this-way-day-care.html

Let girls be girls and boys be boys

Sweden is all about taking away the diversity of gender between boys and girls.

Some kids toy catalogs have been changed to show girls with boys toys, and boys playing barbie (or something like that).



They are considering introducing a new word, HEN.  It means neither He nor She but rather a gender neutral way to speak about a person.

And here is a recent article I read that responds to all this gender-neutral focus.

I usually don't like Aftonbladet, but this Psychologist said it pretty well.

Aftonbladets article

Best idea ever....

Lydia has a good amount of toys. But when they are all laying out in front of her she is "bored" of them.

So when she wasn't looking (muahahaha), I took away about 80% of her toys and split them up into shoeboxes and other small boxes.

And then when Markus is taking his nap and I really just want some time on my own, I get all excited and say, "oh man, you know what?!?  I could take down a box for you and you could see what is inside it?!  Oh, how cool is that!!!"

And because she is 3 years old, she also gets excited, even they are just boxes of her own old toys.

And then I gleefully take down a box, close her door, and we are both very happy for about 30 minutes to an hour....

Ahh, I wonder how long this game will last? 

To dagis or not to dagis...that is the question.

Well, I think about it and am confronted by this just about every day, so it is time to get it off my chest.

We have chosen NOT to send Lydia off to daycare here in Sweden, and while I love having her at home with me, teaching her on a one on one level, and much more.

..

....I hate going out to all these empty playgrounds and watching Lydia play alone, or continually scramble to find  the few other moms who are also choosing to keep their kids at home until school starts.

What do we do instead?  We stimulate and teach Lydia at home.  At her last doctors checkup, they were surprised to see her vast vocabulary ability....duh, she gets one on one focus every day!

We take Lydia to an open daycare 3 times a week where the parents are also present and the kids can play together.   But even that playgroup has consistently and continuously asked me when i am going to 1.  get a job, or 2. put Lydia in dagis.  I know you want to make the Swedish economy better, but couldnt it possibly be best for kids to be around their parents!?

I am not saying that people are bad people if they put their kids in daycare.  What I am saying is that Sweden has managed to make foreigners (probably more than Swedes) feel like they must put their kids in daycare, and ideally starting at age one.  The parenting magazine that I have recieved a few times in the mail for free always points out how we should put our kids in daycare, and there is ALWAYS an article about how working moms dont need to feel guilty if they have their one year old in daycare from 8 to 5 every day.

How about writing another article, parents who choose to stay at home shouldnt be pressed or made to feel guilty for being at home with their kids until they start school?  How about some statistics on how they compare?

Here's an interesting statistic of what a stay at home mom SHOULD be making if she was paid for her various chores...  http://degreesearch.org/blog/sahm-moms-infographic/

At the root of all of this is the question of women's equality.  I agree that women and men are equal in God's eyes, but he made us with different skills for different purposes.  That's called complementarianism. (read more about complementarianism here: http://www.girlsgonewise.com/complementarianism-for-dummies/)



What does the Bible say about all of this?

Proverbs 31 describes an "excellent wife" by saying that "she considers a field and buys it; from her earnings she plants a vineyard...she makes linen garments and sells them and supplies belts to the tradesmen."

But there is another Biblical principle in Titus 2:4-5 which says, "encourage the younger women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be sensible, pure, workers at home..."

My first priority is to love my husband and children. I know for a fact that I as a woman are much better than my dear husband at some key traits that are needed to take care of kids, traits like multitasking, cooking, being sensitive, smelling dirty diapers and hearing when a bowel movement is on its way, to name a few.

To quote Pendleton Baptist Church in Indiana, "There is no career more fulfilling, important or challenging than directing and lovingly forging the heart and intellect of a little child. What job is more meaningful than the emotional, intellectual and physical welfare of a child. The biblical ideal places mom in the home as the backbone of child development. What Day Care Center can do as well as a loving mother?" 

I would rather have a simple life and have our kids at home than work full time and watch my kids being raised by someone else, and in the case of Sweden, someone who is definitively non-Christian in their methods.  (Although I do joke sometimes when meeting new people and everyone says who they are and what they do that I am workings as a full time personal assistant to these two kids)

I know that our daughter has plenty of behavoiral imperfections, but lets look at what I see when I compare dagis kids to "stay at home mom" kids. 

Dagis kids are VERY often sick, which leads to all those "working moms" having to take days off from work. 

SOME Dagis kids have learned some terrible manners from the other kids, and either their parents don't correct it or else they ignore it.  

Dagis kids are usually more accepting of being away from the parents.  Lydia doesn't like to be far from mom or dad, and can be stranger shy. 

Just looking at some other comments...why do Swedish parents themselves say they want to send their kids to dagis?   (not in any order)

1. I don't like to play with my kid, pushing them on the swing and drawing with them at home is boring. 

2. I don't have the ability or energy to stimulate my kids like they would get at dagis. 

3. Siblings should not just have each other as friends when they are small but rather have their own friends first and then their siblings secondarily as friends. 

4. I dont have to stay at home and be restless, unfriendly, depressed, and fatter and fatter. 

5. My kids will eat healthier food than what i usually cook at home. 

6. My kids will have a great relationship with the adults at the dagis, and will be seen by them and appreciated in another way. 

A few more links to add some statistics to this blog....  http://www.hemmaforaldrar.se/jonas_himmelstrand_forskolan_forskningen.htm

http://www.viforaldrar.se/Forsta-aret/darfor-ar-forskolan-bra-fo

http://hemmaforaldrar.se

http://www.hemmaforaldrar.se/Nya%20kvinnan%20hemmamamma.pdf

Jag tänker på och är konfronterad med det nästan värje dag, så det är dags att prata om det!

Vi har bestämt oss att inte skicka Lydia till dagis har i Sverige, och även om jag älskar att har henneh hemma med mig, och få chansen att lära henne en till en, och mycket mer...
...jag avsker att gå ut till alla tomma lekplatser och kolla när min dotter lekar ensam, och är frustrerad att jag måste letar efter de få andra mammor som vågar har sina barn hemma. 

Vad gör vi med henne hemma?  Vi stimulera henne och lära henne hemma.  På hennes sist doktors kontroll, de var överäskad att ser hennes bred språkkunskap.  Hållo!  Hon får en till en fokus värje dag!


Vi ta Lydia till en oppnaförskolan 3 gånger i veckan, där föraldrarna är också dar och barnen kan leka tillsammans. Men även folk dar på den förskolan har ofta frågat när jag ska 1. jobba, och 2. sätta Lydia i dagis. Jag vet att Sverige vill har den bästa ekonomin, men är det moligt att vad är bäst för barnen är att var med sina föraldrar lite mer?


Jag säger inte att föraldrar är dåliga människor om de sätter sina barn på dagis. Vad jag säger är att Sverige har lyckats göra utlänningar (förmodligen mer än svenskar) att känner som de måste sätta sina barn på dagis, och helst börjar vid ett års ålder. Föräldraskap tidningen, Vi föraldrar, som jag har fått ett par gånger med posten gratis pekar alltid ut hur vi ska lägga våra barn på dagis, och det finns alltid en artikel om hur arbets mammor inte behöver känna skuld om de har sitt ett år gamla i dagis 8 till 5 varje dag.

Vad sägs om att skriva en annan artikel, bör föräldrar som väljer att stanna hemma inte pressas eller känna skuld för att vara hemma med sina barn tills de börjar skolan? Vad sägs om en del statistik om hur de jämför?

Här är en intressant statistik om vad en hemma mamma skulle får om hon fick betalt för sina olika sysslor ... http://degreesearch.org/blog/sahm-moms-infographic/

Vid roten av allt detta är frågan om kvinnors jämställdhet. Jag håller med om att kvinnor och män är lika i Guds ögon, men han gjorde oss med olika färdigheter för olika ändamål. Det kallas complementarianism. (Läs mer om complementarianism här: http://www.girlsgonewise.com/complementarianism-for-dummies/)

Vad säger Bibeln om allt detta?

Ordspråksboken 31 beskriver en "utmärkt fru" med att säga att "hon anser ett fält och köper det, från hennes inkomster hon växter en vingård ... hon gör linnekläder och säljer dem och levererar bälten till hantverkare."

Men det finns en annan biblisk princip i Titus 2:4-5 som säger, "uppmuntra de yngre kvinnorna att älska sina män, att älska sina barn, att vara förnuftiga, rena, arbetstagare hemma ..."

Min första prioritet är att älska min make och barn. Jag vet för ett faktum att jag som kvinna är mycket bättre än min käre make på några viktiga egenskaper som behövs för att ta hand om barn, drag som simultanförmågan, matlagning, känner luktan av smutsiga blöjor och höra när en avföring är på väg, för att nämna några.

För att citera Pendleton Baptist Church i Indiana, "Det finns ingen karriär mer givande, viktigt eller utmanande än att styra och kärleksfullt smide hjärta och intellekt av ett litet barn. Vilket jobb är mer meningsfullt än den känslomässiga, intellektuella och fysiska välfärd av ett barn. Den bibliska ideal platser mamma i hemmet som ryggraden i barns utveckling. Vilken daghem kan göra samt en kärleksfull mor? "

Jag vill hellre ha ett enkelt liv och har våra barn hemma än arbete på heltid och se mina barn som tagits upp av någon annan, och i Sveriges fall, någon som är definitivt icke-kristna i sina metoder. (Även om jag gör skämt ibland när vi träffa nya människor och alla säger vem de är och vad de gör att jag jobbar som en heltid personlig assistent till dessa två barn)

Jag vet att vår dotter har gott om att vara olydig och andra personliga brister, men ska vi titta på vad jag ser när jag jämför Dagis barnen att "stanna hemma mamma" barn.

Dagis barn är ofta sjuka, vilket leder till alla dessa "arbetande mammor" med att de måste ta dagar ledigt från jobbet.
NÅGRA Dagis barn har lärt sig några fruktansvärda grejer från de andra barnen, och antingen deras föräldrar inte fixar det eller så ignorera de det.
Dagis barn är oftast mer accepterande av att vara borta från föräldrarna. Lydia gillar inte att vara långt från mamma eller pappa, och kan vara blyg av främling.

Bara tittade på några andra kommentarer ... varför svenska föräldrar själva säger att de vill skicka sina barn till dagis? (Ej i valfri ordning)
1. Jag gillar inte att leka med mitt barn, att trycka dem på gungan och rita med dem hemma är tråkigt.
2. Jag har inte kunskap eller energi att stimulera mina barn som de skulle få på dagis.
3. Syskon ska inte bara ha varandra som vänner när de är små, utan har sina egna vänner först och sedan sina syskon sekundärt som vänner.
4. Jag behöver inte stanna hemma och vara rastlös, ovänliga, deprimerad och fetare och fetare.
5. Mina barn kommer att äta nyttigare mat än vad jag brukar laga mat hemma.
6. Mina barn kommer att ha en bra relation med de vuxna vid dagis, och kommer att ses av dem och uppskattad på ett annat sätt.

Några fler länkar att lägga en del statistik till denna blogg ....

http://www.hemmaforaldrar.se/jonas_himmelstrand_forskolan_forskningen.htm

http://www.viforaldrar.se/Forsta-aret/darfor-ar-forskolan-bra-fo

http://hemmaforaldrar.se

http://www.hemmaforaldrar.se/Nya%20kvinnan%20hemmamamma.pdf

super babies

I want to do this with Markus!    Any votes for which ones I should do?

sack o' potatoes

Somewhere along the way, babies go from being something that you are scared to hold into something that is "too easy" to hold....

Look at this picture!  Hand in pocket, baby being held like a sack of potatoes, full concentration on the conversation at hand.

How did that happen?  I remember having a newborn Lydia and how Daniel and I were so scared to hold her the wrong way or hurt her when we held her....

baby shower!

In the beginning of February, my mother in law held a baby shower for us! Let's just say that this is NOT a normal Swedish custom, but then again the guest list was not a bunch of "normal" Swedes anyway. I missed taking a bunch of photos, but that is probably understandeable considering the chaos of all the small babies and toddlers who came along for the party!

1. Below you can see the lovely Sara Noren competing with a 10 year old to change the diaper on a life sized baby doll....blindfolded! It didn't help that the boy's mom kept pulling up his blindfold to help him cheat...but I am pretty sure Sara won anyway. 2. Daniel's mom made an impressive quiz. Questions about the names of Old Testament kids of families, what is the name of the Swedish royal family's kids, and so on...not easy! She also had everyone write the expected due date/size of baby, etc, and we shall see who comes closest. The kids were VERY eager to help with unwrapping the gifts, so I just sat back and let them do the hard work. Sweet gifts, including a big package from Frida and Ramy (thanks, Micaiah). One really funny thing was seeing the little boy in the picture, who has also just gotten a little baby brother, open my gifts and then try to give them to his mom, with the mistaken assumption that they were naturally for HIS little brother.
Here is a group shot, although we didn't get Daniel's sisters in the photo as they had to leave early....6 different nationalities! And of course there was all the balloons that had to be played with and taken home....you can see the chaos in Lydia's room after all those kids were here! All in all, a VERY sweet time. Some things i forgot to take pictures of but appreciate: The cabbage with sausages and meatballs sticking out on toothpicks, little sandwiches that looked like a happy face, the big poster and balloons at the front door welcoming people, various kids that were overloaded on sugar, and the joy of seeing various friends come together and celebrate.

Thanks Monica!

I början av Februari, så gjorde min svärmor ett baby shower till oss! Det är INGEN Svensk tradition, men gästerna var inte bara vanliga svenskar heller. Jag fick inte ta tillräckligt med bilder, eftersom det var lite kaos med alla bebisar och småbarn som var med på festen.

1. Du kan ser den fina Sara Noren som tävla med ett tioårig pojke för att byta en docka blöja...utan att ser den! Det hjälpte inte att pojkens mamma fuskade så att pojken kunde ser sig fram. Ändå jag tro Sara vann.

2. Daniels mamma gjorde ett bra frågesport. Frågor inkluderade att man måste vet namn på olika barn i gammal testamentet, vad kungen familjens barn heter, osv. Inte lätt! Hon också hade alla skriva ner när de gissade bebisen ska kommer och hur stor det ska bli...vi får se vem kommer närmaste.

3. Barnen vill gärna hjälpa med att öppna gåvorna, så jag ta det lugnt när de jobbade hårt. Söta gåvor, speciellt ett stor packet från Frida och Ramy (Tack, Micaiah). En roligt grej var att ser den lilla pojken i bilden, som har också just fått ett lilla bror, öppna gåvor och ger de till hans mamma. Naturligtvis, han tänkte att de var för hans lillebror!

Har är ett gruppbild, men vi fick inte Daniels syskon med eftersom de åkt tidigt. Vi var 6 olika nationaliteter!

Och så var det självklart alla balongar som barnen lekt med och tog hem...du kan ser vilken kaos det var i Lydias rum efter kalaset....

Överallt det var ett riktigt söt tid. Några grejer som jag glömde att ta bilder av men uppskattade....

Ett stort kål med korv och köttbullar som stickar ut runt om det,

lille mackar som ser ut som glada ansikterna,

Ett stor välkommen skylt och balongar på dörren,

Flera barn som var fullt opp med socker,

Och den glädje att ser olika kompisar kommer tillsammans och fira med oss.

Tack farmor Monica!

Basketball, anyone?

I remember when I was a teenager, stuffing a soccer ball in my shirt and thinking, "pregnant women do NOT look like this." Ha.

Next week, we are breaking new ground in Sweden....my mother in law is hosting a very non-swedish Baby shower for me! Apparently Swedes normally just stop by after the birth (because many of them dont know if they are having a boy or girl until it has come out), have a fika or something, and congratulate the new parents.

I am curious how the baby shower will go down!

I am even more curious about how it will be to have a baby here. In Tunisia we had the luxury of a private clinic, but the downside was that all the nurses spoke french and I was being poked with mystery medicine all the time.

I guess this just means that I will need to post more about all this later....

Jag kommer ihåg när jag skojade som ett tonåring och sätt ett basketball i min tröja. Jag trodde att gravida kvinnor ska inte ser ut så har på riktigt. Ha!

Nästa vecka ska vi göra nåt nytt i Sverige...min svärmor ska göra ett BABY SHOWER till oss!

Jag trö svenskar brukar hälsa på efter mamman och bebisen är hemma, (eftersom de ofta vill inte vet könen innan förlossning), de har ett fika ihop, och gratulera familjen.

Så det är klart att jag är nyfiken hur en BABY SHOWER ska gå till har!

Jag är också nyfiken hur det ska var att födda har. I Tunisien, så fick vi en privat rum, men alla sjukskorterskor pratade Franska och jag fick mycket konstiga sprutor hela tiden.

Det betyder att jag måste skriva mer om det sen....

A bit of encouragement for me as a mother.... from http://theresurgence.com I dont put stuff on this blog unless i think it is well worth the read...enjoy. Young mother, it seems like everyone wants something from you. And you’re probably already giving way more than you ever thought you could give. But even with all your giving, you might struggle with guilt—lingering, joy-drenching, energy-sapping guilt—that you should be doing more, giving more, accomplishing more.

Don’t waste that guilt. Pay attention to it. Use it. Take it out of the shadows and examine it in light of Scripture. Is this a godly grief that leads to repentance or a worldly grief that produces death (2 Cor. 7:10)? Is it life-giving or life-depleting? Ask yourself, does this bring fresh joy and peace to those nearest me, or does it add unnecessary stress and strain to my home?

Mother: You have a mission field

Our first and primary mission field is our children. God values our children. Jesus became indignant when the disciples didn’t embrace the worth of children in God’s expanding kingdom (Mark 10:13-16). God tells us that children are his blessing to us (Ps. 127:3). And he places great importance on our teaching our children to love and serve him (Deut. 6:7-9).

Don’t feel guilty over making your children your primary ministry investment in their early years. Your availability, sensitivity, affection, and unhurried attention are irreplaceable.

There are no neutral moments in a young child’s life. Someone is going to be influencing your children, inculcating values and imprinting standards on their impressionable young minds. Let it be you!

Accept your calling from God to serve your family. As a mother, you are helping to shape the souls of your children for Christ and ultimately influence the world. Your children are your gift to the future.

Stay on mission

Does this mean you will never invest in others outside your family? Goodness, no. But if you are a young mother, stay on mission. Use your primary ministry of mothering to serve Christ now. Don’t let anything diminish your unique role as a wife and mother. It is not godly guilt that would call you away from a wholehearted investment in your little ones for his sake.

“

Don’t feel guilty over making your children your primary ministry investment in their early years.

”

This season in your life is just that—a season. And each season is a divine calling from our creator and king. Organizing a new event at church is important. Teaching your little boy to be kind to his sister is also important. But which one can best be done by you during this season? Serve God well by ministering to your children first. Very soon they will be grown and gone, and you will be unable to recapture the teachable moments you have now.

Mothers, listen to Psalm 78:4-7: “We will . . . tell to the coming generation the glorious deeds of the Lord, and his might, and the wonders he has done . . . that the next generation might know . . . so that they should set their hope in God.”